First-- this post assumes Cas will be back at some point.* I literally can't imagine that he won't.
I think I've figured out why they're never gonna have Dean and Cas ~get together. I hear you snarking in your heads, people that don't ship it. Shush, you.
If Dean and Cas were in an actual romantic relationship, nothing would outwardly change except
any and all kissing/coucher ensemble/etc. I think their relationship would look pretty much exactly the same. They'd argue vehemently, and stare at each other a lot, and it's not like they'd actually go on dates or do anything coupley. And then at some point, Sam'd be like "Dean, you realise you and Cas are friends with benefits, right?" And then Dean would point out that Sam's just jealous
, which of course he would be.
And I hear you saying, "But wouldn't Sam be right?" But that's just the thing, I have difficulty imagining a difference between their relationship in, say, season five (or even season six) and their relationship if they were romantically together. It's not that if they started sleeping together, their relationship would somehow form out of the sex, it's that right now (i.e. in 10-20 episodes when Cas comes back), they are
romantically involved without
at all, come on, just one hug, jfc
. IMO. In my slightly-confused-about-things opinion. If you think them sleeping together would amount to fwb, then they are just friends and always have been.
The season of XF where Scully and Mulder get together is the perfect example, because we don't even know they're together, cause really the only thing worth mentioning that changes (in season seven) is that they start having sex. And we don't find out about that until..., well, it's debatable when exactly we find out about that. So when did their relationship start? They were obviously in love with each other for years prior to that. That in itself doesn't amount to a romantic relationship, but best friends + totally in love, does kinda, doesn't it?
I guess what I'm thinking is that the writers find Dean and Castiel's relationship, whatever that may be, interesting, or we wouldn't have grown to love it as much as we do. But I think they don't think that it would be any more
interesting with a physical element. I think that if someone had a great idea for a kissing scene (and they pitched it, that part's kind of integral too), and everyone was inspired by it, it would happen. And if you don't have the frame of mind that they should just make out already, a realistic first kiss is really hard to come up with for these two.** They're both hard-headed, and Dean has... issues. I have a scene in my head that's utterly perfect, if I do say so myself. I should draw it at some point. Funnily enough, I think it was X-Files-inspired. But I only have one that I really think is perfect for Show, and obviously I think about this a lot :|*Mulder was dead and buried for months, and he came back. And he was just a person. Juss sayin.
**This theory is just as solid for Sam n Dean, but obviously there are additional reasons they're not gonna do that.PS I can't stop listening to this sonnnnggg.
Okay, off to think more about ~things.
ETA: It is different from XF though in that the writers of XF recognised the fact that Mulder and Scully were in love. I'll argue to the ends of the Earth that it's canon that Cas was
in love with Dean, but it would be nice to acknowledge that as being at least a little reciprocated too. Eh, if you squint hard enough, that's canon too, and I can squint pretty hard.