Word Count: 1635
Warnings: spoilers for 7.17
Summary: Dean visits Cas in the psych ward, and there is sex. Also, Lucifer is a dick.
He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, eyes shut, when he heard the door open.
"Ooh, it's Deano again. What should we do with him this time? Hellhounds again? Always a crowd-pleaser."
It didn't help much, but with his eyes closed, he could try to focus on the quiet whisperings of his brethren, the real ones-- try being the operative word. Cas could still see him, Lucifer, bright and terrible, but Dean wasn't there for some reason.
He heard it again.
"I just needed to-- dammit, Cas, look at me."
Cas's brows drew slightly in concentration.
"Cas, I just had to see you. Knowing you're alive, it's like this burning in the back of mind. It's fucking distracting." He heard footsteps next to his bed. "We're gonna fix this."
He'd heard similar over the past few weeks. The first time had been most painful, when he still thought he was real. He had tried to touch that Dean and burned him alive. Lucifer had chuckled and mused on how easily fooled he was.
At least it seemed he wouldn't see this Dean die if he kept his eyes shut. Small mercies.
He felt the bed dip. A hand caught his. A hand of flesh over blood over bone, all whole and real and warm. His eyes opened and landed on Dean, one bent leg pulled awkwardly up on the small bed. "Dean."
"Hey." He said it softer than he had his other words.
A moment passed where he just looked at him, trying to savor this as long as it would last. Which wasn't very long. "Flesh over blood over bone, huh, Castiel? Wanna see some of it? All the handiwork you did on that pretty boy turned inside out?" Dean flickered bright red and dark, charred black. Cas shut his eyes again, but he could still see it. He opened his eyes to Dean's unmarred face only for it to flicker again. Cas looked away.
Dean squeezed his hand. Cas pulled him closer with it, and Dean shifted on the bed.
Cas tried not to focus on him. He looked at the desk in the corner of the room instead. He knew as soon as he glanced back to Dean's face or closed his eyes, he'd want to scream. He brought a hand up to Dean's face to run over his cheekbone, his jaw, his neck. It was smooth if not for the stubble there. He spared a glance at him, and the burns faded from his skin as he touched him. Within seconds, he was whole again.
"I need you to touch me."
Dean nodded as if he understood. Or maybe it was just agreement.
"Ooh, can I watch?" Lucifer seemed quieter with how Cas was focusing on Dean's pulse under his fingers, the way both of Dean's hands were on his face and how he looked at Cas's lips before he leaned over to kiss him.
Dean's lips were dry and warm and perfect and the softest thing he'd felt in weeks. Cas grabbed at him, pulled at his shirt. "Take this off," he rumbled. He needed more skin.
Dean leaned back to skim out of both shirts as quickly as possible. It was long enough for Lucifer to shimmer into view behind him. "He's never going to love you the way you do him, Castiel. I thought Michael loved me. I thought God loved me."
"Dean." He reached out to grab Dean again, one hand curled against his naked ribcage and one on his shoulder. Cas kissed Dean again, and Dean ran a hand under Cas's shirt and up his side. Dean moved over him and pushed him back down onto the bed, breaking the kiss to run his mouth down his neck.
"I told Meg to guard the door. She's not watching us, is she?" Dean asked into Cas's skin.
Cas glanced up to look over at the window of the door, but Lucifer was standing in front of it now. "I'm not sure, but my brother is."
"Oh, goodie. Tell him to bite me." Dean nipped at Cas's ear as if illustrating his words.
"I will not make that invitation of him." Cas's hands ran up and down Dean's back, and he let his eyes close, just letting it sink in that Dean was really there. "Thank you for coming, Dean. I don't deserve this of you."
"Shut up, Cas." Dean moved down his body a little and hiked his hospital shirt up to kiss down his stomach, run his hands over him.
Cas's hands never stopped moving, in Dean's hair, over his shoulders, his back, under his arms, which made Dean jerk a little.
"He's just gonna abandon you like Father did, kiddo. Doesn't matter how nice he fucks."
Dean stroked a hand over Cas's cock, almost unthinkingly, focused on where he was mouthing at Cas bellybutton and the trail of hair below it. He licked right above where the drawstring was tied. Cas's breath got shallow and fast like it would when he was terrified, and Dean untied his pants. He tugged them down and Cas lifted his hips a bit to help him.
"He doesn't love you, Castiel. He loves Sam. He's just grateful that you fixed him, and deep down he still hates you for everything you did."
"Dean." He tugged him back up to kiss him again, maybe it would quiet Lucifer
"He doesn't love you. He's just a horny, sweaty animal."
Dean touched his cock, tentative, and he shivered with it. Dean gave him a quick peck on the cheek and moved back down his body.
"He doesn't love you, Castiel."
Dean took his cock into his mouth, and Cas couldn't help the broken noise he made. It almost drowned out Lucifer.
All the blood that had seemed to be rushing in his head as they kissed had moved down to his groin to stretch Dean's lips wider around him. Cas's chest rose and fell in quick, unsteady rhythm as Dean took him apart.
"He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you." Lucifer's words wouldn't stop, repeating with every upward movement of Dean's head.
A hand disappeared from Cas's hip to grab at his thigh. The words echoed and repeated, overlapping, running together. Then they silenced. All he could hear was the dirty-wet suction and Dean's tortured breathing, a pleasured little moan around him, his own breathing. After a minute, he heard the faint sound of the central heating clicking on. It was quiet. He traced his thumb over the freckles on Dean's nose, and Dean's eyes flashed up to meet his. With a soft groan, he came down Dean's throat.
Dean pulled off to mutter some obscenity in an overwhelmed, breathless croak and rested his head for a few seconds, mouth shining and slick, on Cas's naked thigh. It was still quiet. Cas brushed a hand through his hair, letting him rest, then gently tugged him back up into a kiss. It was open and lazy as if Dean's mouth was exhausted. "Fuck," Dean muttered. "I didn't come here for this." His voice was shattered. Cas's hands went to undo his jeans. He kissed him again.
"Why did you come?"
"I don't know, I just--" Cas's hand was on his cock now. Dean buried his face in Cas's neck, "Fuck, I don't know." Hips knocked against Cas's. Cas's free hand stayed on Dean's face, touched the ridge of his eyebrow. "I wish I didn't--" His lips brushed Cas's neck as he said it, as quiet as possible, but the words were broken off. "I can't lose you again, Cas. I won't. It just gets worse every time." He let out a humorless huff of a chuckle.
"You don't need me, Dean. You have Sam."
Dean raised his head to look him in the eyes but then shut them before he spoke again. "I really wish I didn't need you." Cas's hand moved from his temple down to thumb under his bottom lip then grabbed him by the chin to kiss him again. Dean moved his cock into Cas's hand in a steady rhythm. It was a bit ungraceful.
"I wish I didn't need you either," Cas replied.
Blunt fingernails clutch at Cas's side. "We ruined each other, didn't we?"
Cas wasn't sure what he meant, but somehow he knew it was true. Anything Dean said in that pained, quiet voice had to be true.
Dean's breathing got quicker and he leaned down to nip at Cas's ear, under it.
The door opened with a click. "Time's up, boys."
"Fuck," Dean groaned into Cas's neck. His head whipped back around to look at Meg. "Can't you stall?"
"What do you think I've been doing, genius? They noticed there were two Moaning Myrtles in here pretty much right after you got here. You need to skeddaddle." She looked down to where Cas's hand was still on Dean. "I can help with that, if you like. I'm only here to be of assistance."
Cas practically growled, "Touch him, and I'll remove any offending hands," and thumbed the slit of Dean's cock, making him shudder. Dean's ears went bright red, and he pulled Cas's hand off him.
"Jeez, Cas, tell her how you really feel." Dean tucked himself away and zipped back up, moved to get off the bed, then thought better of it and gave Cas one last hard kiss. "He's not real," he whispered into his ear, hand splayed across his chest. "This is," then he kissed him smack on the ear, loud and a little annoying and all Dean.
Cas's hand went to the one on his chest. As Dean pulled away, Lucifer flickered into view again behind him.
He looked angry.